Saturday, December 6, 2008

My babies and I


Just a pic of Drake, December and myself.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

History


Well tonight history was made. Barack Obama has become our 44th president. I couldn't be happier, to experience this. I've always wondered as I listened to my grandparents speak about their memories, World War 2, the 60's, Vietnam,etc.What it must have been like, to experience things so world changing, and now I have my own moment to share with my future grandchildren . The story of our 1st African American President. I am blessed to be alive to see this event happen. I pray he does bring the change America so desperately needs.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Me time

I so need me time. It's been awhile since I've had any time to myself. Life is so demanding. I desperately need a few hours of fun, or a few hours of complete uninterrupted sleep. I need to remember who I am at the core of my being. I love my LORD,my Life, my kids, my marriage, I just need time to love me again. It is so much easier to say I need this time, then to try to create this time. I feel so guilty. My mother is an avid believer in you have to take care of yourself first in order to take care of everyone else, if only it was that simple. I need to take a step back and reevaluate things. Maybe if I do this I can be the wife, the mother, and the friend I long to be.

*GOD give me the strength I need to allow myself the time I need to become who I was meant to be. Please help me to learn that I need me time, in order to give my family all they need and deserve.*

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Finally


Ok, so Finally it feels like Fall. I can't begin to explain the euphoric feeling this time of year brings me. The leaves changing, the smell of pumpkin pie baking, the warm memories that dance across my mind. It is absolutely amazing, this anticipation of the Holidays. Everyone ask me why I named my daughter December, and this is why. This feeling of hope and joy that we begin to feel as we journey through Fall only to arrive at the greatest time of the year(DECEMBER). This connection to GOD becomes so much more clear as we approach the day of his birth. I feel so abundantly blessed and so wonderfully loved, and I could not give my daughter a better name.I LOVE FALL .Finally...Thank You GOD, I was starting to think it wouldn't come this year, but again you Deliver LORD-Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Still

Have you ever felt as though the world was rushing past you and in its total madness there you are just standing still. My life is hectic don't get me wrong. I have to 2 kids, a husband, to many pets, and a million things running through my head 24/7, yet I feel so stuck.I am stuck in this moment of complete stillness. I love my Life,my Family,and I am Happy. So why do I feel so personally halted? I suppose I need to discover some artistic expression,a creative outlet in which I can pore all of my extra energy, only I don't know where to begin. I can't draw, painting is to messy, and I've tried a 100 different things already. Maybe I could write a book, if only I had enough to say. I feel as though GOD is trying to tell me only I won't shut up long enough to hear him. I guess I should start there... Maybe for right now I am meant to be still. UuHHHHHHHHHH Life..... one long introspection.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

27

Well in about a month I will be turning 27. I never felt as old as I do now,but maybe that isn't such a bad thing. It's so weird when I look in the mirror I don't see 27, but when I think about my life thus far I definitely feel it. I have been with Jeff for 10 years now, married almost 7. We past that honeymoon stage long ago,but lately it feels really good to know someone,like I know him. There's a strange comfort in having him know me so deeply. For so long I wished we could go back to how we were when we were first married. Only know with this impending birthday that I cherish the memories but wouldn't give up this sense of complete honesty and total devotion. In the beginning you are still getting to know each other, still putting on a front, but as time goes on you learn and experience what it takes to make your marriage work, and how good it feels to sort of consider your marriage a success so far; and I do.We have 2 children, and I never knew I could feel as much love for them as I do.I am sincerely thankful I waited to have my babies.There is no way I could've been as good of a mother to them when I was younger, as I can be to them now. Until recently I really loathed the thought of being 27, but know I find myself embracing it more. I really appreciate the wisdom I've gained, I wouldn't be 21 again if you paid me, (well maybe if it was a substantial amount,lol.) I can only hope that at 54 I still relish the thought of getting older, and wiser. I'm sure I will be bestfriends with botox, but lifes a give- n- take I guess.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

December is Here


So on June 2nd, 2008 at 8:35 am we welcomed Miss December Reyna into our lives. She weighed 7lbs 6ozs, so much for my huge baby I was suppose to have. I had to have a repeat C-section. It was hands down the worst experience I have ever had. My c-section with Drake was wonderful, no pain, lots of medication, and a great hospital staff, this one truly sucked. My anesthesia wore off and I could feel everything, they ended up putting me out. I didn't even get to see my baby until 3 hours later when I finally woke up, not to mention they had to remove my appendix at the same time. It was crazy. I do have to admit though that I would do it all over again, to have my beautiful baby girl. She is so amazing. She is almost 2 months old and so cute. The things we endure for our precious children.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Why do people think it's ok to tell you, you're fat when you're Pregnant.


So I'm 8 months pregnant, and yes I am quit bigger than normal but I'm growing a human being in my uterus. I ask you, why do people find it necessary to point this fact out to me on a daily basis. Comments like "you look like you are ready to pop", or "OMG look how big you are",are insulting. As if I don't wake up every morning as it is and look in the mirror with horror and contempt at the sight of my ever expanding ass. If I was 190 pounds on a normal basis(which I'm not by the way) no one would walk up to me and say "Wow you've gotten huge in the past 2 weeks." I don't rub you're stomach and tell you to lay off the burgers and fries. Sure I'm aware there are plenty of women out there who only gain like 15lbs and don't look pregnant, but they are freaks of nature. So again I ask" Why is it ok for you to tell me I am fat just because I'm pregnant?"