Still

Have you ever felt as though the world was rushing past you and in its total madness there you are just standing still. My life is hectic don't get me wrong. I have to 2 kids, a husband, to many pets, and a million things running through my head 24/7, yet I feel so stuck.I am stuck in this moment of complete stillness. I love my Life,my Family,and I am Happy. So why do I feel so personally halted? I suppose I need to discover some artistic expression,a creative outlet in which I can pore all of my extra energy, only I don't know where to begin. I can't draw, painting is to messy, and I've tried a 100 different things already. Maybe I could write a book, if only I had enough to say. I feel as though GOD is trying to tell me only I won't shut up long enough to hear him. I guess I should start there... Maybe for right now I am meant to be still. UuHHHHHHHHHH Life..... one long introspection.

27

Well in about a month I will be turning 27. I never felt as old as I do now,but maybe that isn't such a bad thing. It's so weird when I look in the mirror I don't see 27, but when I think about my life thus far I definitely feel it. I have been with Jeff for 10 years now, married almost 7. We past that honeymoon stage long ago,but lately it feels really good to know someone,like I know him. There's a strange comfort in having him know me so deeply. For so long I wished we could go back to how we were when we were first married. Only know with this impending birthday that I cherish the memories but wouldn't give up this sense of complete honesty and total devotion. In the beginning you are still getting to know each other, still putting on a front, but as time goes on you learn and experience what it takes to make your marriage work, and how good it feels to sort of consider your marriage a success so far; and I do.We have 2 children, and I never knew I could feel as much love for them as I do.I am sincerely thankful I waited to have my babies.There is no way I could've been as good of a mother to them when I was younger, as I can be to them now. Until recently I really loathed the thought of being 27, but know I find myself embracing it more. I really appreciate the wisdom I've gained, I wouldn't be 21 again if you paid me, (well maybe if it was a substantial amount,lol.) I can only hope that at 54 I still relish the thought of getting older, and wiser. I'm sure I will be bestfriends with botox, but lifes a give- n- take I guess.